I too have a situation in which a good God does not seem to make sense. My eldest daughter is now twenty-six. She never speaks and does not use the toilet. Erin is not very aware, and often self-stimulates by waving her hand before her face. Other than that though she is easy to live with since she is usually off in her own world. She does love to go for walks, go swimming, and listen to music - so we do those things more when she is home - and so she laughs a lot when we do. When she was a young child we went to several expert doctors seeking solutions. We never found one. Erin was diagnosed as severely learning disabled with no known cause, which is true of many who suffer severe learning disability.
In one way we are more blessed than some folks. California pays for Erin to have care provided near enough to home that she can visit once a month, and Erin has a very nice family to provide that care. That is why our family situation is not nearly as bad as a friend of mine at work. His daughter is probably mentally more aware, lives at home, and is very hard to keep happy and often difficult to deal with.
So If God is good and in control, why is Erin like that? To begin with, this earth is evil, cursed because Adam disbelieved God and allowed Eve to give in to sin, then joined her. Because of Adam, because all of us choose to disbelieve God in many ways, this world will remain evil until the Messiah returns to make the world and His servants New. God is a huge fan of choice: He wants every person to desire Him from personal choice. Choice also includes the choice to do what is wrong, and wrong has consequences.
But the question remains: how can Erin's disability glorify the only good Creator if she is never healed of it? Likewise, how can the death of a mother and unborn child glorify the Creator? That is a wrong question of course. It assumes disability and death are forever, which God declares is not true. Every person who lacks the mental ability to reject God will automatically have heaven - and heaven is far more than a spiritual existance praising God all the time. Heaven will be endless adventure, loving companions, real glorious beautiful places with specific dimensions, real permanently youthful bodies which never tire nor suffer.
God's Word often uses animals to communicate what God's character is like, and uses celebrations and feasts to communicate what His kingdom will be like - so there is every reason to think there will be animals like lions, lambs, dogs, and cats for company, as well as gloriously REAL celebrations with REAL friends. While being in hell will be endless totally lonely hopelessness, knowing fully all the time that it was one's own personal choice to reject God's goodness which sent one there.
In short: Erin, that unborn child, and likely that young mother (who was faithfully going to church), will all be in heaven to enjoy the endless beauty, real companions, music, and adventure - without any pain or disability forever. I would be surprised if Erin didn't become one of the best singers of everyone there - to praise God for giving far beyond what anyone can ever deserve. How could anyone expect something more glorious than that? The other choice is only Shame, for we who can and do reject what God offers, we who choose instead to spend forever separated from the Source of all good things.
My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Proverbs 4:20-23 English Standard Version
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